he Rye," type of story of a 12-year-old boy sent away from his home in Chicago, to live on a farm up in Wisconsin, with his Great-Grandmother--who he's only met once--which was enough. Also, of course, there's husband #4, an ex-sheriff, with his two young girls--one's a knockout, and the other can knock you out. And then there's slick Eddie, turned 17 and going into the Navy. Yeah, World War II is on, but 'Hey!' it's on the other side of the world. And then there's mean Ah-lex, the hired hand. He'll chew you up with or without salt and pepper just for kicks. But next week Richard gets out of Montifiore--which isn't a reform school but you have to be bad to get in. So he's coming up. And get this: he's my uncle even though he's only a year older than me. But, of course, I never-ever call him: Uncle Richard--unless he twists my arm into a pretzel.

And then there was the 'haying' during a heatwave; 90's day-in and day-out under a blistering sun. The trick was to park your brain outside your body.

Then when the rain finally came it forgot to leave. The creek became a river, and the river became a lake, and the lake an ocean with the cows trapped on the other side. And if cows don't get milked they explode or something. And there goes the farm. So we converted a sled into a raft and that took care of Ah-lex. I got dragged along by some barbed wire and ended up floating down the river in an inner tube at the mercy of the Demons. And that was just the beginning...