Have you ever contemplated calling Homeland Security to report some hapless liberal as an enemy combatant?

Or did you just want to "occupy" his mouth with your fist?

No matter the flavor of your clueless left-wing adversary, here's a survival guide for anyone who's fantasized about smacking down a liberal moon bat.

Learn how to:

• Taunt mindless Obama lovers and hopeless tax-andspenders with snappy sound bites
• Determine if you suffer from argumentile dysfunction and avoid the 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Partisans
• Survive family sparring matches, manage workplace squabbles, and learn to cope if you're sleeping with the enemy
• Hone your BS detector to help you identify left-wing lies and crimes against logic
• Use liberals' words against them with a handy compilation of idiotic left-wing quotes

It's time to defend America against every godless, gun-grabbing, tax-hiking, socialism-loving, shower-avoiding lunatic in your midst.

If you want to battle tree-hugging hippies, consider this your chainsaw!