"A work of staggering grace."--Women's Health

"Raw, relatable, uncensored."--Jeff Brazier

"The ultimate book about what it is to be human."--Stacey Heale

"Raw, brave, deeply moving and powerful."--Angela Scanlon

From the moment Lotte first met Ben, she knew they were meant to be together. And for a few years, their life was truly idyllic: flourishing careers, adored friends, and travel to every corner of the planet.

But when Ben was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, Lotte was catapulted into the uncharted landscape of cancer medicine, becoming his caregiver overnight. With the world around them in lockdown, they refused to give up the fight for his survival, travelling from London to Mexico in hope of a cure at the height of the Covid-19 pandemic.

When Ben lost his life, many miles from home, Lotte found herself asking: how do you see what the future looks like--without the person you love most in it?

Heartfelt and heartbreaking, healing and hopeful, this intimate memoir reminds us that grief and joy can coexist, and that life after loss can still be beautiful.