0Abusive relationships can take many forms; typically, however, they involve a cyclical pattern of abusive events revolving around power and control. Sometimes, we are expected to be strong when we're dealing with tough situations. I have found that to be ineffective, because the more I tried to hold in my pain and be strong, the worse I felt, and I eventually stressed myself out. Yes, I was tired of the verbal and physical abuse. Yes, I had degrees, yes I was an educated woman, yes I was exposed to many things, yes I knew what I should have done, but that didn't mean a thing when you're in a toxic environment. When you're trying with everything you have to maintain your sanity and strength. But I have found through my experiences, that total personal freedom came when I realized that the abuser only have the power and the meaning that we give them. So why do we hold on to such pain? Why do we choose to blame rather than choose to see how our greatest pains can actually be blessings? How many years do we live with a sense of quiet desperation, faking the connection we have with ourselves? Why do we deny ourselves real living and exchange our time for mindless living? So why are we here? What are we destined to become, to create, to give? How will we create our most enjoyable life? Time is our most precious commodity. We have to take advantage of every moment God gives us. Each moment we have is a gift from God. Dr. Doretha John is a retired US Army Medical Service Corps employee, retired Psychologist and an Elder in the Lord's Church. After 30 plus years of public service, she also devoted her life as a servant of God to her church family. She worked diligently in her local and International churches. She has held, and holds numerous leadership positions in International Bible Way Church of Jesus Christ, Inc. and Gospel Ark Temple Church. She is also the founder of Hidden Treasures Ministries. Dr. John has made many strides in accomplishing her dreams in spite of the pitfalls.