3A Desire to Belong / Journey to Self-Discovery A spiritually motivated auto-biography reflecting the life of a child raised by a middle aged couple whose method of disciplining was beatings with a belt and a serpent's tongue. She was a mean spirited person who would take her anger and frustration out on me. He on the other hand was a deacon in the church chose to ignore by staying away from home as much as possible. From two years old I'd grown up around people who never really knew me, all they seen was what I wasn't and felt determined to mold me to the image they required by any means necessary. This book shares the dark life I grew up in and the following thirty plus years of running from myself. Finally finding myself hopeless, homeless and alone crying out to God wholeheartedly, at the crossroads of life and death I experienced an awesome encounter that changed my life forever. This is my story, my testimony, my victory. Born in North Carolina at about age one my biological father brought my mother and me to Passaic, NJ where I still reside today. At age two I was left with and later adopted by a middle aged couple with no kids. From that point life for me was not good to a point where in my later years it seemed I would never recover from the after effects. For the better part of my adult life I became a danger only to myself because drug use became my reality. Never having a habit for any particular drug until much later in life I always felt in control because I always had a job. For one thing my drugs weren't free but I also thought about my bare necessities, a roof over my head, clothes and food. What was left went towards keeping me blind of the truth that I wasn't as in control as I believed. All the while deep within I always felt I was capable of functioning at a higher level, however being a stutterer with low self-esteem it wouldn't be until age forty-three after a nose dive my life would began to change dramatically in ways I could have never imaged. Who am I, I'm a person who's been spiritual born again growing from someone full of insecurities to one full of purpose, direction, and the joy of being able to share my life with you. Thank you for taking time and I wish you well Steven Kearney Sims