Every day I paste a smile on my face, get my kids out the door to school, take care of my clients eight hours a day, and pray that my commissions cover the bills. During the last thirteen years, I married and divorced two disappointing men. The divorces were terrible. I'm partly to blame for the failed marriages, but the bulk of it was their fault. I promise.

I'm still in touch with my first husband out of necessity since he's the father of my kids, but it's a train wreck since we can't stand each other.

I love my kids with all my heart, but I'm tired of raising them alone.

Late at night, after they are asleep, I log onto my three favorite dating apps and dream that the next swipe could change my life. The attention I receive online makes me forget that I'm a frantic single mom with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Most nights, I run out to meet a match if they sound promising, but many of these guys are tragically dysfunctional in person, and one of them even started stalking me. I had to file a protective order. My friends tell me that my life is spinning out of control, but I know my soulmate is out there.

I just have to find him.

Don't judge me.

I'm always back before dawn.