self-portrait of life, death, grief, love, regret, and adolescence relayed with poignancy and humor. Letts' perspective transcends just her experience.

Sometimes Madison allowed herself to think the thoughts you're not supposed to think. Quietly, she'd let her mind slip and imagine a world after he died. It's funny, the way your imagination will alter reality.

There's a fine line between denial and hope...

Madison fell in love with a boy named Knox when she was a junior in college. He opened car doors for her, he brought her coffee in bed, and he called her baby. Knox and Madison talked about getting married one day and planned to move to New York together after college. Then, a year into their relationship, doctors found a tumor in Knox's brain. After Knox underwent a craniotomy to remove the deadly cancer, he was never the same.

Madison spent two years watching as he endured monthly chemotherapies and weekly seizures until it all began to feel normal. As she furniture shopped and decorated and set up her new apartment in New York City, Knox learned to speak and use a fork again. As she interviewed for her first job, Knox fought to stay alive.

In this coming-of-age story, Madison processes profound pain in the wake of loss, while sharing her brutally honest--and often intrusive--thoughts about the universal experiences of falling in love, growing up, battling insecurity and regret, and deciphering the meaning of life.