2The only brutally honest, unfiltered piano tutor book for absolute beginners that combines musical instruction with insults, sarcasm, gratuitous swearing, and superfluous anecdotes. By following along carefully and practicing regularly, you will learn how to read music, play pieces, understand chords, and perform with expression. There's even a potato you can colour in if it all gets too much.About the author: L. Blake has been teaching children and adults how to play the piano since 1998. Much like a leaking sewage pipe, all positivity and patience has slowly seeped away over time until all that is left is an empty tube that smells of despair.