My submission is being rewarded with buttons, and that empty jar is quickly filling with all the buttons I've earned. We negotiate different amounts for different tasks, so that jar fills even quicker. If I stay on course, my freedom will be earned in no time.

But I find myself needing more from him. Instead of fulfilling his fantasies, I want him to fulfill mine. I want him to take me to dinner. I want us to sleep together after the fun is over. Lunch in Florence and afternoons at the beach. He refuses-until I offer my buttons as payment.

I give up my buttons because I want more from him, and he fulfills my requests because he wants to keep that jar empty. Back and forth we go, the buttons the currency of our complicated relationship.

I start to fantasize about a relationship without buttons at all...and wonder if that's his fantasy too.

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