As I worried, I wondered if he was safe in heaven and searched for answers; God opened my eyes to his great love. The fact that he would do the "unthinkable" for any of his children. He reassured me that there was/is no need to question his love or ability to save. Looking back, I can see God's personal touches throughout the small and big details of our tragedy. So much so that my understanding of his lovingkindness has grown tenfold in light of the ways he cares so beautifully for the hurting heart. Life is messy. Humans are messy. Grief is life-altering and constantly changing. It never leaves you; it becomes a part of you. Grief is the cost of love. But God! He is so much bigger and better than any pain or suffering we come across in this crazy world (John 16:33). I am thankful our savior abides in us so we can follow his lead and abide in him. What a gift to be so entangled by his loving-kindness that our perspective of him as well as understanding of suffering is forever changed. We were never meant to say "goodbye" or "see you later" to loved ones. We are made for eternal love and unity with both our Creator/Savior and also with loved ones. The Bible stresses family and lineage often, and a common theme/understanding of those who have experienced near-death experiences (NDEs) is how very important love is as well as the fact that there will be a reunion in heaven. We're created in the image of a living and eternal God; that is why our souls long for just that. One day, God will restore and make all things right. What a glorious day that will be!