I remember thinking, Lord, it is so unfair if you return when I am having a bad day or I'm not being as good as I should be or if I didn't score enough points that day to get into heaven. Like so many, I lived in subtle fear that my life was judged on an invisible scale, with each deed being measured against perfection.
Once I understood, when I accepted Christ, God's son, into my heart, I was saved; I was going to heaven! I could never be good enough--on my bad days or my good days--to get into heaven, but Christ inside me could. That's when I stopped focusing on myself and my performance, and I started understanding who God was.
And I now get to lean on, depend on, talk to, and cry with my King every day on my special journey of life. He knows my every thought, my every motivation, my every deed; he knows my ugly, and he still loves me. Not like the love from childhood, where I had to be perfect to be accepted, but an unconditional, never-ending love. He walks hand in hand with me through every season--no scales, just a hand holding mine.
My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he is listening. And if we are confident that he is listening, we know that what we have asked for is as good as ours. (1 John 5:13-15)