That's the question Beck asked herself at the age of eighteen when an unknown future threatened to end her life, after years of sexual abuse by both her grandfathers and absent parents who did nothing to protect her. Leaving her to deal with the abuse completely on her own.

Beck made a pact with herself to unlearn everything trauma taught her and relearn everything she could to become 'normal' like everybody else.

Beck's intimate journey is full of heartache, of raw insight into the effects of childhood trauma, including multiple mental breakdowns. But it's also one where Beck refused to believe suffering was her only option.

Beck's story shows us the road to recovery is not an easy one but worth every step to heal what was broken and live in peace and happiness.

Foreward by Associate Professor, Dr Judith Howard, Queensland University of Technology, Brisbane Australia.

'Every time I read Rebekah's story - I tear up! I am not one for doing this, as I have grown very resilient over the many years I have worked in this field of trauma-aware education. I have heard so many stories of harm done to people, young and older, and have met and known many of these people. What keeps me working so hard in this field, are people like Rebekah!

Rebekah is the epitome of someone who I refer to in my work as becoming more and more "resolved" from the trauma she endured, as time goes by. This has not happened easily or without an extreme amount of endurance and hard work, but people like Rebekah are the evidence that - what we do and how we support our children and young people who have lived through complex trauma - particularly in education settings - is so very important!

I teared up again when I read Rebekah 's manuscript for this book. I believe this is because I know the (mostly) resolved and adult Rebekah, a beautiful young woman who exhibits such strength and passion for caring for others. It sincerely hurts me to read about the vulnerable and victimised child Rebekah and the long-suffering younger adult, Rebekah.

However, Rebekah has chosen to openly share with you, both the child and the younger adult Rebekah, in the hope that this will encourage others who have lived through complex childhood trauma, to fight for their healing and for all the goodies in life that they need and deserve - health, love, family, career, calm, happiness ....

Rebekah is a courageous survivor of complex trauma- who is determined to prevent any intergenerational transmission of this harm by being a great (informed and responsive) mother. She is also someone who is determined to heal herself, and to be her best self, so that she can then support the healing of others.

Her memoir is an admirable project - to do just that - to support healing in others. This project would not have come easily, as it is no small thing to recall the details of suffering and to analyse one's self and one's experiences to the degree that Rebekah has done. I feel so privileged to write this introduction to Rebekah's heartfelt story and I look forward to hearing of many more great chapters in Rebekah's life!'

Editor, Kaye Kemp Book Polishing says 'I'm crying' and 'So powerful!'

You'll have to read for yourself why so many people were deeply moved by Beck's personal journey...